I would not recommend touching strangers. This includes your server! Now, a friendly pat on the back on the way out the door accompanied by a "Thanks we had a great time!" is fine from time to time. At that point there is some rapport and a touch meant kindly can be a nice thing.
Of course a handshake is always appropriate.
But let me just say that a tug on the shirt or a grasp of the arm is not welcome, and can be downright dangerous depending on the paranoia/martial arts training of your server!
Let's assume that I won't touch you, and you won't touch me, and I will be nice and bring you delicious food, and you will be nice and have a good time. There's no need to get to know each other better, especially not via unsolicited physical contact.
I mean, you have to want more coffee pretty bad to grab my arm as I'm walking by carrying an armload of dishes from another table, right?
Who are these people? Is this how they treat their doctor? Or their children's teacher?
To reach out and touch someone in a demanding way is very rude, and it is behavior that should not be rewarded. We all have to prioritize tasks on a busy night. There might be a list of five things you need to do, and you've got them all in order of importance and grouped into tasks that can be combined or done at the same time. Whatever that impatient customer wants, it is probably already on the list.
Well, one tug on the shirt or arm grab should be all it takes to put that at the bottom of the list.
If you have a good story about a touchy/grabby customer, please write about it in the comments below!!!!!
My head swarms with memories of those greedy grabbers. I recall in particular, while serving a party of nine their drinks, one man actually reaching to pull his overflowing PBR from my tray. In a low Clint Eastwood-esque tone I said, "You really do not want to do that" and could only wait to see if he would heed my warning. Thankfully, he released his grasp without disrupting my balance or the the eight other sweaty drinks hovering above his lap.
ReplyDeleteOn another occasion...
"Can I have a straw" she asked impatiently as I was trying to unload the tray full of drinks. "Sure" I said, "Just a sec". Well, just one second wasn't fast enough apparently. "Here, I'll get it myself" she said as she began rooting around my apron. MY apron which is attached to MY hips which is in extremely close proximity to a part of MY body that no stranger has the right to put their straw-searching fingers near. My bubble had been violated. As she slurped down her glowing Fanta I wondered if she had any idea that she was dually sucking out my soul.
My (least) favorite is the guy that walks up to you while you're busy-- running a credit card, putting in an order, or God forbid trying to run food, and with obnoxious, patriarchal nonchalance, begins stroking your back while making some request (that I am always too busy boiling with indignance to pay much attention to)-- something like "we're going to need another round," or "could you change the salad to a caesar?"
ReplyDeleteFirst off, there is no need for back rubbing. I am not your cat, nor your wife, nor your daughter, nor anyone else you may give a back rub to.
Secondly, I'll be walking over to your table in a matter of minutes, and whatever requests you have can be dealt with at that point.
Just approaching your server in my opinion violates the server/customer relationship. It is I who approach you, I who seek you out, not the other way around. To leave your table to come seek me out is unnecessary, more than that, it's poor etiquette. To throw inappropriate touching in to the mix is just wrong.
Please remain seated, people.
There seem to be an abundance of creepy, old sweaty men who think they can capture your attention while giving you their order by grasping your arm/wrist.
ReplyDeleteAlso, tapping your server on the shoulder while he/she is talking to another table... DEFINITELY not okay!!!