"Are you my friend?"

In the state where I live, a law requires that all hamburgers be cooked to 160 degrees fahrenheit.  That is known as medium-well, and while there may be some pink in the very center of your burger, it will not be as luscious and pink and juicy as some people prefer.  

Thanks a lot to the industrial food complex for making a lot of ground beef unsafe to eat medium rare!  Some people like their burgers well done, but many burger connoiseurs, including myself, would rather skip the burger if we can't have it pink and juicy (dare I say red and juicy).

Now there is a little known fact about burgers and restaurants.  Some restaurants will cook you a burger the way you want it, regardless of the legality of that action.  

I waited on this couple a while back, and we had a delightful exchange on the subject.  

The gentleman ordered the burger (always a little bit of a buzzkill since it is for sure the cheapest entree option), and then rather gruffly he said to me,

"Can I get that medium rare?"

Let me just clarify, he didn't say it very nicely.  He said it with the tone of one who has been frustrated in the past, and feels that a global conspiracy is working to deprive him and him alone of the pink juicy burgers he requires.  A conspiracy of restaurant servers, perhaps.  

I took my customary deep breath, allowing his own rudeness to hang in the air for a moment.  Then I told him about the state law, with a gleam of "you're not getting what you want" in my eye.  I then told him that sometimes, on behalf of my friends, I could put in a good word with the grill guy and he might "accidentally" take the burger off the grill before it was dried out and legal to serve.  Then I asked him,

"Are you my friend?"

His surly manner disappeared, as he realized that far from being his servant, I was actually his host on a journey of deliciousness.  His burger was how he wanted it, and his tip was 20 percent.