First of all, I know you're giving me a hard time. I know that the unreasonable requests you are making will not be met. I know that this conversation is going nowhere, because frankly you are up against a brick wall here.
So when you tell me you are just giving me a hard time, is that supposed to soften the blow? Is that supposed to be a nod and a wink along the lines of "we're all friends here"? Because it's not working!
I know you're giving me a hard time! And it's not fun or funny to me, because I have other things to do than stand here and bat around crazy notions about how you might run a restaurant if you owned/ran one.
Why would you give me a hard time? I'm nice, I work hard, I want you to be happy. But you have to understand that we have policies which exist for a reason, and we can't (and won't!) just change them every time some pushy patron suggests we do so. So please just skip the part where you give me a hard time, and get right to the part where you sit down, order drinks, appetizers, entrees and dessert, then tip the server twenty freaking percent!!!!
word up.
ReplyDeleteit's the cold word
ReplyDeleteAh the frustration...love when folks try to conversate by asking ridiculous questions they already know the answer to, or if they don't know the answer, act like your answer isn't what they want to hear. Ex.Setting: brunch, Q: "What does this mean, Po'Boy?" A: "It refers to a sandwich or sub, it originated, I believe, in New Orleans." C(omeback):"Well, we aren't in New Orleans." T(hought): "Really, dumb ass, I wish we were because I would probably not be waiting on you." It would be wonderful to be able to make up funny, clever things to say everytime someone wanted you to, but I am not Seinfeld, nor am I geting paid to be, so if you want funny, you have got to at least give me something to work with. Being either uninformed or antagonistic does not count. Luckily I got to grat this table. I will also add that out of the 6 diners, only 2 were annoying, so maybe those other 4 might consider dining without them next time.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain...I think that is what this blog is all about really, giving you (and me!) a forum for those clever comebacks we don't say out loud. If we were Seinfeld, we wouldn't be working so hard for twenty percent tips!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I have to say, having a few good lines on hand can be useful.
Sometimes when people walk up to the host stand and say, "I'm looking for someone," I like to say, "Aren't we all!" This gets a smile from even the coldest fish.