There can be an inclination towards informality when you know your customer. In our efforts to make our friend feel comfortable and not awkward about being waited on by a friend sometimes this can result in sloppy service, which is why I try to remind myself that ultimately I like this person, and I want them to have a good experience at the restaurant. I try to make my service as perfect as possible, and that is how I extend myself to a friend who is looking for a meal.
From where I stand, when you come into my restaurant and sit down at the bar, you are my customer first, and my friend second. I will not let the standard of my service slip just because we are friends. I give excellent service all day to complete strangers, why would I do any less for a friend?
That being said, it can be easy for a friend to accidentally make a server's life very difficult. Maybe they really came in to talk, not spend money. Maybe they don't realize that they are joking with you but you are in work mode, so you are not really giving as good as you're getting.
One of my least favorite moves is when a friend comes in late and hangs out until close and then tells me to let him know if he and his buddies need to go. I will not do this, because you are my customer first, and I would never tell a customer to leave. They have to leave of their own accord, when they decide it is time to go.
The problem is, since he said it's okay to kick him out, which I would never do, the friend and his buddies now feel they are in the clear to hang out and watch TV at the bar until way past the closing hour.
So if you have a friend in the service industry, and you want to have a meal and visit your friend and patronize his business, first of all thank you, and second of all, be a friend and don't put him in an awkward position by being a nightmare customer! He will grin and bear it and never say anything about it, but it's not nice!
