"Do you do anything special for dessert?"

The other night a customer followed a server over to the wait station and asked, "Do you do anything special for dessert?"

Observing the exchange, I wanted to tell him, yes, I do a soft-shoe tap routine and I sing happy birthday while juggling frying pans and kitchen knives. That would be pretty special, no? But of course what he was looking for was something on the house for his friend who was celebrating a birthday.

Here's the thing, though. She's YOUR friend, so why don't YOU buy her a piece of pie? Why should the restaurant buy her a dessert? We don't know her, or you, and really you shouldn't be up from your table and over here by the wait station, don't you know bad things happen when you leave the table and start wandering around?

Bottom line, we buy desserts for our friends, won't you do the same?

His server was much kinder and gently informed him that we would gladly put a candle on whatever dessert he cared to order for her, and we would bring it out unannounced after all entrees were finished and cleared. The customer returned to his table, but did not order a dessert at this time. He also joked about what a slow eater he was.

Only a few minutes later the mom at the table came over to ask the same question, and got the same answer.

This group of diners had been waiting for their table for a half hour, and the restaurant had felt some chagrin over this and had gone ahead and bought them a round of appetizers. They waited until they finished all those appetizers before they finally ordered entrees, about five minutes after the kitchen closed. Of course their order was honored and their food was prepared to the high standards of our kitchen. It was pretty late by this time, however.

To make matters worse, the gentleman who first asked about the birthday turned out to really be an extremely slow eater. His server was really wanting to clear the entrees and get dessert going since there had been a request for a candle and the kitchen was closing. Finally, at the request of the table, the server cleared the other guests and brought dessert menus.

One guy orders a piece of pie, but it is clear he is ordering it for himself, not the young lady with the birthday. She orders only a cup of coffee. So our server, who had planned to bring a birthday candle adorning some type of dessert, is in a bind.

Undaunted, and with characteristic savoir faire, he takes a birthday candle and melts the bottom of it so that he can fix it onto the handle of the coffee mug. He then brings out the young lady's coffee, and she gamely blows out the candle and makes a wish.

As the server is leaving the table, he hears the slow eater say, "Coffee with a candle? That's cheap!"

Then the same low-life asks his check to be split off and pays only for himself, not chipping in on the birthday girl's meal or anything, let alone springing for a piece of pie. Tip...not 20%

P.S. my friend made me a 20% tie clip, it is so great and I have been wearing it for work. It looks cool and it keeps my tie out of my customer's soup. I will try to get a good picture of it so I can post it....