"I'll take lemon for my water."

What is up with lemon in your water?  Does it really taste that great?  I mean, if it comes with the water, then fine, enjoy it.  But is it really worth asking your busy server to make a special trip just to bring you a slice of lemon?  Does lemon water taste so much better than water?

Does the flavor of lemon in your water make it pair better with food?  I think not.  If anything it distorts the flavors on your plate.

Water should be neutral, that is the idea.  It should cleanse your palette, not inform it with another kind of acidic flavor.

The earth is 75% water, our bodies are as well.  Just regular water, no lemon!  Who could argue with that?  When you drink water, you are a part of a huge cycle of evaporation and condensation that has been going on for billions of years.  All without the addition of a single !@#$% lemon!

But you are fancy so you need lemon for your precious free water, is that right?  

You know what really tastes better than water?  Wine, beer or a cocktail.  Try it.

who are we and what are we here for?

This is the first post, to get the ball rolling and introduce ourselves.  This blog is dedicated to the men and women in the service industry, or as I like to call it, "the industry."  

Everyday we experience the absurd behavior of people who have no thought for our welfare, no concern for how they may appear to us, in fact seem determined to piss us off and be as self-centered as possible.  They are our customers, and to them we may not exist except as a means to an end, whether it's eggs benedict or a dirty martini.  We may seem like an obstacle to their enjoyment, though we really just want them to have a good time and help us pay our bills.  

We all need to blow off steam from time to time, and what better way than to share our stories with people who appreciate them and us.  Namely, each other.  SO......

If you just got home from work and the obnoxious comment from the annoying older dude at table twelve is still ringing in your ears, please let us in on it!  We want to know!  What's the most ridiculous reason you've had a plate of food sent back?  What is the rudest way to answer the question, "How are you folks doing, tonight?"  

For example:

A few years back  we received a comment card from a semi-regular customer.  He explained that every time he came to our restaurant, the same bad thing always happened.  He said he would always wonder, "will it happen this time?"  And sure enough it always would, and it happened again tonight and he was never coming back.  

He never mentioned what the thing was!  

So then this year he showed up again, and when he was brought his cocktail he made his displeasure known, even mentioning that he had left a comment card about how this always happened.  

The server told the manager, who turned to me and said, "I bet its that guy that left that card that time!"

I knew exactly who he meant, and we realized we were about to find out what it was that had always irked him so much.  

The problem, dear reader, was that we have larger martini glasses than some bars or restaurants he is used to, and a standard (3 0z) martini does not fill our glass exactly to the rim.  He didn't think he was getting less liquor, he just preferred the look of a smaller martini glass and suggested that we get some.  

And we just may, if only to bring one out to him the next time he comes in. 

So there you go, if you have a funny story please share it, if not, leave a comment and let us know what you think!

By the way, the title of the blog should be self-evident to anyone in the industry.  If you don't get it, ask your server or bartender!